My core belief is that relationships don't have to be hard.
Not necessarily easy (I'm not delusional!) but relatively easy. Easyish: I wrote a whole book about it.
In my experience, most struggling relationships aren't failing because the two people are categorically wrong for each other; they're failing because nobody taught (any of) us how to communicate in a kind and constructive way, how to fight without burning the proverbial house down, or how to repair after we do.
Those are skills, and the beautiful thing about skills are they can be learned.
I also don't think compatibility is fixed. Any two people could make a relationship work, depending on how much work they're willing to do and whether they have the capacity to do it.
That second part matters as much as the first. Intention without ability is wishful thinking; ability without intention is just untapped potential. You need both.
(Remember: You can't date or marry potential! You are dating the person they are today, right now.)
My other core belief is that every relationship has its own culture. My job isn't to make yours look like someone else's; it's to help you figure out what you actually want, what's getting in the way, and what skills would close that gap. How to make it the best it can be for your unique pairing.
Note: I am not a good fit for very high-conflict couples, or dynamics with abusive patterns. I’m great for folks who need an extra set of eyes on the issues, and some solid skill-building. I'm also great with alternative dynamics in most cases. "Traditional" relationships are not required for people to be happy and healthy together.
What we actually work on:
The main difference between coaching and therapy: coaching is practical and forward-focused: what's the problem, what's the skill gap, what do we do about it. Here are the main things people come to me for:
Communication : the specific, practiced kind; not the vague "you need to communicate better" variety, but the this-is-how-you-bring-up-the-hard-thing kind. With a plan, with purpose.
Conflict + repair: most couples think the goal is to fight less. Nah. The goal is to fight better and repair faster. Conflict is normal; stonewalling and resentment are what happen when you don't have a repair cycle.
Patterns: Every relationship has them. The same fight on a loop, the same dynamic with different costumes. Naming them is the first step to interrupting them; I'm great at spotting the patterns quickly and pointing them out.
Agreements: not vows, not promises, not "I'll try." What are the actual agreements of the relationship: specific, revisable, realistic; things you can keep. (This could include equitable distribution of labor in parenting, finances, and "roommate shit" or could be ENM agreements or something like that.)
Discernment: The "should we keep trying?" question — sometimes that's the real thing on the table and nobody wants to say it out loud. I can help you look at that honestly, without pressure in either direction. (This also applies to the “do we want to have children?” discussion.)
Sex: Let's talk about it. Tell me everything: the good, the bad, and the awkward. What's working, what's not working, what you want to try or at least talk about without fumbling. I can help you at least find a way to talk about it.
Parenting: It's often around the birth of the first child that marriage start to fall apart. This is a crucial intervention point. Staying connected, aligned, and rooted in the foundational friendship that made you want to have kids together. I can help with this!
I have questions!
Here are the common questions:
How long will it take? How often should we come back? How much does it cost?
The answer to all of that: sessions are as-needed and self-paced.
There's no weekly requirement, no package you have to commit to upfront, and no guilt if you disappear for six months and come back. (I will say it works better with consistency, but I also believe folks do things on their own timelines.)
90 minutes — $275 The standard starting point for most couples. Good for a specific conflict, a communication breakdown, a "what do we do next" moment, a skills session, or figuring out whether something is repairable. You'll hopefully be able to leave with a plan and something you can use immediately.
2 hours — $375 For couples who have more ground to cover; useful for initial deep-dives into long-standing patterns, premarital work, or situations where you know one session won't be enough but you want to get a solid start. Also good for the "should we keep trying?" conversation, which tends to need room to breathe.
3-hour Intensive — $575 For couples who want to compress the work into one focused block; useful if scheduling multiple sessions is hard, if you're dealing with a significant rupture, or if you just want to go deep in one sitting.
Multi-session work is welcome, but never required. If you want to commit to the work, you can do that via the Total Package or The Premarital Sessions package. Those are prepaid and structured series with discounts baked in.
Or, just come as often or as infrequently as works for you.
Ok, but...why are relationship sessions longer and more expensive than individual sessions?
This is a good and relevant question that I have put a lot of thought into!
Because I enjoy both, I used to think they were comparable in terms of energy (from me) and required time. I figured we could work with whatever time we have.
However, I have to admit that 55 minutes is simply not enough time to get anywhere with a couple when first starting out. And nothing kills momentum faster than a first session that feels unfinished or unproductive.
My couples that start with longer sessions invariably feel better leaving my office that first time, which gives them hope for the future.
As for the fee difference: it is a lot to juggle: two people, two nervous systems, two versions of the same story. Endless patterns to track. Endless microexpressions to decode.
And then we have three schedules to juggle to get the time together. If you've got kids, that gets exponentially harder (although I do offer weekend hours for that reason!)
Couples work takes more time and costs more money not because anything is worse; it just takes longer and more sustained focus to get everyone oriented, heard, and actually working.
That said, once you are established and just need some routine maintenance, you're welcome to drop down to 55 minute sessions. Those are $175 and can be booked anytime, forever.