About Me | Roots & Keys

Amy L. Miller, owner of Roots & Keys Coaching + Therapy

I finished grad school* in 2005 (yes I'm that old) and have spent the last two decades doing what I do best and love most: helping people communicate honestly, navigate conflict without burning their lives down, and build relationships that actually feel good.

My professional path has been nonlinear on purpose because I have to try things out and see what works for me: I've been a nanny, project manager, school social worker, private practice clinician, relationship coach, mediator, keynote speaker, leadership consultant, and (most recently) the interim director of a Humanist congregation. (Note: I was not a good nanny, but the rest had decent success!)

I am grateful for all of that because it gave me many different angles to observe how people, relationships, and systems work (and how they break down). My brain loves patterns, and for better or worse, humans are fairly predictable. I bring a deep understanding of and empathy for the human condition.

You are likely here trying to decide whether we are a good fit to work together. I'm decidedly not right for everyone, and that's a good thing. The people I'm right for tend to know it right away. But there's plenty of info here, on my socials, in my blog, and various other locations to help you decide.

I see individuals for therapy, individuals for coaching, and couples for relationship coaching. Group work is for everyone, and corporate work is customized for each client.

*I have an English BA from Coe College and an MSW from The Brown School of Social Work Washington University in St Louis, if that matters to you.

Here's more info to help you decide if we're a good fit:

I’m in my mid-40s, perimenopausal, AuDHD, very tattooed, and I curse freely. (You don't have to, of course, but you can't be offended by it. I'd love to say I'm working on it, but I'm really not.)

I work with adults over 21. Teens are great, and honestly they love me, but that's just not my jam these days.

I love working with people of all genders who are smart, self-aware, and ready for change. My approach is direct, grounded, trauma-informed, and deeply human. I believe in community, in belonging, and in the healing that happens when someone finally says the honest thing out loud.

One thing about me you should know: I'm always going to say the thing.

I have worked my entire life to become a person who could say hard things. It is important to me that I be direct, accountable, and that I always sit with the impact of my words. So in sessions, I will probably ask very direct questions you may not enjoy or may wish we could avoid, but I will be there with you while we explore the answers when you're ready.

I practice radical candor and hold bullshit-free spaces, although I'm not always perfect at it, of course. The relationships I build with clients are rooted in the belief that we have to practice all new skills in safe spaces, and that everyone deserves to have people in their life they can be messy and fully human with. You probably can't shock me: I'm down to hold your humanity in its fullest forms.

I value people who want to name what's really happening in a dynamic. Did I hurt your feelings? Tell me and let's repair. Am I misunderstanding your intention? I'd love to understand it.

I stand ten toes down for what matters to me. For better or worse, I'm a fighter and there are some things I cannot tolerate. To that end, my core values are not theoretical. They shape how I practice, so please be (or plan to get) comfortable with these ideas:

➡Black Lives Matter.

➡Trans Lives Matter.

➡Every human on Earth has intrinsic value and deserves to be safe, housed, and fed.
➡Gender and sexuality exist on a spectrum, and anywhere on that spectrum is perfectly "normal."

➡Monogamy is one valid way, but not the only way to do relationships.
➡Kindness beats dogma any day. (I am not religious, but it's ok if you are as long as it's not used to justify harming others)

➡Patriarchy, colonization, and white supremacy culture harm all of us.

➡Perfection isn't real, but sincere effort is. If you need to do better, work on that shit.

Other stuff: My pronouns are she/they. I’m in a healthy, ethically non-monogamous interracial marriage with my favorite (cis/het male) person, and we co-parent a fierce and free elementary-aged Black girl child who reminds me daily why emotional intelligence matters and why antiracist practices must continue.

To this end, I am certainly not the best parent in the world, but I am a present, effortful, connection + repair-focused parent and my child's secure attachment is my greatest achievement. I cannot take any credit for her athletic abilities or her incredible sense of humor, but I will absolutely pat myself on the back for her emotional intelligence and her love of reading.

ANYWAY: If you want a therapist, coach, or consultant who is warm, sharp, relational, and unfiltered—in a good way—we’ll get along just fine. My contact info is below for coaching, or go here for therapy. If you're not sure, here's a document that can help you discern.

And if you'd prefer to see a male BIPOC coach instead, my husband Rodney is also available on a limited basis while he's on summer break from his public school counselor job. He's a lovely man and I highly recommend seeking his guidance.